Mesmerized

If I ever were to be honest with myself,
I would say,
somehow, somewhere,
she will still be in my mind.
Ha! So much for hypnotizing myself.

I remember Jo Ee once said,
don't you think that you would want to protect those girls that are soft-nature?
Well, I would totally agree with him.
I would love to protect her,
wrapping my arms over her,
shielding her of any harm.

Everything needs a balance I guess,
Personally, I don't like girls that are over-dependent.
If she has some problems,
I would gladly solve it together.
But if I ever was not around,
I would like her to try.

Frankly speaking,
I've never given it much thought till now.
At that moment,
I just felt I met that perfect one.
But just as it seems,
nothing's perfect.
And only after for which I analyze myself,
I am able to write it out.

I would love to hate Fridays that period.
Hate it for it puts me in an awkward stance,
Love it for it gave me the false sense of being closer.
At least for what I thought.
I just hate self-consciousness,
Every just that moment when I feel I would lose it,
it started coming back to me.
And so, I decided to end it.

I would pretend to the whole world.
Just like everyone, keeping it deep inside,
Creating that barrier sealing her off.
I bet not many know about her.
My brothers from 109B,
we had talents I assure you.
For I still feel we were the best liars around!

Remembering how I would sulk alone in the room.
Only to see us all in there,
surprised to see each other.
I miss those life too.

And now,
When I came across one of her photos,
I would comment how pretty she had become,
But it still gives me those goose bumps,
sending shivers down my spine for unknown reason.
I guess my body is reminding me what I'm dealing with.
so, I guess it will just be "how are you" for us.
we can't change anything,
cause I had the final say.
Chance not given!

She really did had me mesmerized there.