The wake up call.

A small wound can do so much damage.
I wonder why did it have to happen during this time.
As if I do not have enough things in my mind.
But then thanks to this setback,
I guess I have a whole lot of rethinking needed.

If I am to be honest with myself,
The exact moment when I was told that hospitalization was the best solution,
I looked at my father.
This would be my first time really admitted to the hospital.
Of course I'm scared.
But then, for the next 3 years,
No one would be standing next to me giving me the re-assuring look.
The only comfort that I would get is a get well card.

And so we took the second option of having an injection for at least 5 days.
Now comes the second part.
My body is so great that it is allergic to most kinds of antibiotics.
The last thing I would want was to blame my body.
It is mine after all.
Waves after waves of concerns fills me every time the doctors tell me something.
What if I survive that injection only for me to have a swollen eye of suffocation?

And so the next doctor told me its a flesh eating germs.
No big deal I thought.
Till he told me where he wanted to inject me.
Holy shit? Are you kidding me?
This doctor has a great sense of humor I thought.
But he wasn't even smiling.
I guess this just wasn't my best day.
Even moments before he really did it,
I was praying he would just let out a laugh.
Just Kidding Kido.

The only result that came out of google regarding flesh eating germs was horrifying.
In fact a friend told me its so freaking serious that I could not believe it.
Well, it is that serious.
Just that my case wasn't that serious.
And a minor cut can cause death?
I was lucky I guess.
Lucky for this time.
What lies in store for me I do not know.
The future seems bleak.

At least for now I can still have the privilege of being afraid.
Can I survive alone out there?
This was more like a wake up call.
Life isn't easy as it always is.

I thought I was strong.
I thought I was prepared.
I thought I can overcome.
I thought I can conquer.

In fact, I need to do a lot better.