I want my new life

I want my new life.

The problem is when you've made that decision to go,
People tend to think you're already gone.
The thing is that I never felt so isolated.
Did I push the panic button too soon?
It is really one full month from the time I'm leaving.

How can I burden somebody else when I'm the only one free enough to think about loneliness?
It always look glamorous to be the one flying.
I do not doubt myself having made that decision.
But I just wished it came earlier.

I miss my best friend already.
It's only just a week since he left.
I miss my 109b roommates.
We do not talk often nowadays.
But those fun times we had were great you know.

I wish I was better at adapting.
Adapting the loss of friends.
It is complicated.
I understand that some friends come and go.
But this bedding period is terrible.

Gosh, I hate myself for always thinking of living in the past.
It's awful to think that I have no more friends that cared.
I know its not really the truth but my mind can't help playing that trick on me time and time again.

I need something to fill my void.
I want my new life.